I’m honestly speechless. I’ve been grinding hard towards this day and preparing for it in every possible way you can imagine (logistically, physically, mentally, emotionally, politically, etc.), but now that it’s here, I really don’t know what to say.
At first I thought about explaining in painfully excruciating detail on every literal step I took to get this album realized from the first song I wrote (“Golden Age” fyi) to picking up the physical hard copies from Blumonster.com (shouts to Derek for being a great help with the manufacturing); but then I was like, “naaaah, the game ain’t supposed to be told…”, well, at least not publicly like that, I got no prob hittin up my own ppls with advice and the process it takes to get a legitimate album out. BESIDES, if you been with me since day 1, you’ve been seeing the overall steps through my facebook timeline and twitter feed.
I also thought about writing up some huge insight on why I went with the “Vintage” theme and how it came about organically rather than forced (hey, it seems “throwback” rap is on a come up nowadays, but this album been in the works since way before that so don’t think this was following a trend) coupled with some reflection on how Hip-Hop has impacted me personally so this album serves as my way of giving back to the culture; but then I was like, “naaaah, the music and art should speak for itself and I don’t want anything I say outside of the music to taint the listener’s experience.” A special someone (hi you! you know who you are!) taught me years ago that “actions speak louder than words” and it’s rang true ever since, so in that same token, the music should say it all and I should just stay silent.
Another angle I was gonna go for was to list my thank you’s and shout out all the people who helped get me to this point, but then I was like, “naaaah, knowing me I’d forget someone and they’d take it personal, things will get awkward, etc.” Besides, at the end of the day, the people who I truly appreciate know who they are and since actions speak louder than words, I hope that I’ve shown them that I’m grateful they’re in my life whether via small gestures or large ones. I’m also of the mindset that everyone you cross paths with is placed in your life’s journey for a reason, whether it’s pre-destined or not, but that the good or bad they inflict on you will help you grow regardless.. As I say in “Dear Life” (track 13), “Perfection’s a process.”
I will say this though: Life’s short and time flies alot faster than you expect it to. As much as I reminisce on the past on this album and have this whole “Vintage” theme going on, I try (keyword: TRY) not to live in the past and encourage everyone to do what makes you happy. 5 years from now, my supporters can look back on this day and say “July 17, 2012 is when it all started for Fen, it got the ball rolling for him and look where he is now” or my detractors can say “July 17, 2012, Fen dropped an album that went nowhere and he’s not even rapping now, he wasted his time and money investing in his career.” But fuck it, as much as I thank my fans for the well-wishes and shrug off any negative energy, none of it will matter because as of July 17, 2012, I succeeded in what I set out to do and that was to do whatever I wanted regardless of what anyone thought. I could die tomorrow (knock on wood of course) but I would die happy knowing I left a song like “White Man’s Burden” out in the world or I could die 50 years from now but I would die happy knowing that I made a genuine sincere attempt and gave my all to pursue my passions.
So yeah… apparently I’m not as speechless as I thought. Why are you reading this? You should be listening to Vintage already!!! HERE’S THE LINK!